


Knowing Someone

by Lil_Lioness



Series: No Going Back [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: ...I forgot to tag shiro/Adam so, Established Adam/Shiro (Voltron), Gay Disaster Shiro (Voltron), Gay Shiro (Voltron), Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, M/M, allura and coran are mentioned but not really featured, also Adam is only mentioned..... for now, happyish ending, im bad at tags, little bit of langst, mostly shiro centric I think, not straight lance, sorry I dont make the rules I just follow them, u can make him bi or gay just not straight
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-23
Updated: 2018-12-23
Packaged: 2019-09-25 03:10:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17113319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lil_Lioness/pseuds/Lil_Lioness
Summary: Lance turned to face Shiro, who was still rooted by the door, though now facing Lance. Tears were freely running down the cuban boy’s face, all his eyes told were heartbreak. “So don’t tell me that I don’t know you Shiro. Not when it’s you who doesn’t know me.” Lance walked calmly past the older boy, his breath still shuddering slightly.(There was no going back now.)





	Knowing Someone

**Author's Note:**

> im a mESS  
> I tried

It had all started in sparring. Lance had made some off handed comment that ‘maybe I don’t know my battle stances but I can name more constellations than you’ and Shiro? Well, Shiro never backed down from a challenge like that. 

 

So they ended up in the common room with the biggest windows, naming any constellations around them. Then, turning on a projection of the space around earth, they kept going. And Shiro, oh boy did Shiro have a hard time with Lance getting so… childishly excited every time he got one right that Shiro had missed. The gleam in Lance’s oh so blue eyes… well sue Shiro for being gay. Lance was one hell of a pretty boy, and he was only human. 

 

‘A human who has a boy back on earth who thinks you’ve died’ a voice reminded him. And Shiro would look away, guilt building in his chest. Putting his defenses back up. He would not fall for the sweet, funny, charming and adorable boy in front of him. He wouldn’t, couldn’t do that to Adam. 

 

So when Lance stopped their game and looked at Shiro with concern written all over his face, Shiro steeled himself. 

 

“Are you alright? You look upset…” Lance moved, almost as if to comfort him, but held back at the last second.

 

“I’m fine Lance, I think I’m going to g-”

 

“Bull shit. You have a look in your eyes when you get upset. Don’t lie to me.” Shiro was… shocked to say the least. But his wall stood firm. ‘Push him away. For Adam…’

 

“You don’t know me Lance, stop pretending that you do.” 

 

“I don’t know you? No, see this is where I can confidently tell you to go to hell because you’re wrong. So, so wrong.” 

 

Shiro moved to walk away from the shorter boy, willing himself not to take the bait. Shouldering past Lance, he couldn’t help but notice the tears building in his eyes, all the laughter from mere moments before, gone. 

 

Shiro had almost made it to the door of the common room, nearly gotten out of whatever cruel joke the universe was playing today, but Lance’s voice rooted him in place. 

 

“Takashi Shirogane. The youngest pilot the Galaxy Garrison had ever sent to space. A prodigy. Came from a well off family of scientists, two older siblings who work in theoretical physics and one younger, black sheep type sibling, who dances with the New York Ballet company. He’s everyone’s favorite in the family though. Lost his mother to a testing facility accident when he was 15.” Lance took a shaky breath, still facing the large windows opposite of the door. He pushed on, “You didn’t start going by Shiro until a popular news station glitched and the newscaster read your name as such, and from there you ran with it. But your family and closest friends, w-they called you ‘Kashi. You were proud of who you were, how you got there. When you were given the opportunity to sponsor a student through the Galaxy Garrison, you chose some nobody kid from Cuba, who didn’t have the best grades, but showed heart and passion. Something you thought the field of piloting was starting to lack. You insisted he have nothing but the best tutors, once you found out he had learning disabilities. Those tutors were you and Adam Watkins, your best friend soon to be boyfriend. You worked with him tirelessly, always pushing him to be his best, even when he didn’t believe in himself. You became his life saver, his rock in the world he barely knew.” 

 

Lance had moved forward, now standing by the windows, forehead resting on the cool glass, centering him, calming him. “Your favorite food is your mother’s recipe for butternut squash soup, though you’ll admit that both your younger brother and Adam make it just as well. You hated space as a kid, thought it was going to gobble you up because your oldest sister told you about spheggtification when you were only five. You, despite being a science kid, believe wholeheartedly in astrology, because why wouldn’t the universe tell us what was happening. Your favorite flower is a sunflower, because your grandfather kept a garden of them, and you used to play in it.  Your favorite book is Jane Eyre, but you tell most people it’s Dracula. You’ve visited Japan four times and you loved every moment of it, especially going to see a Pikachu Parade, which you begged to go to for your tenth birthday. Your favorite song is Unleash the Dragons by JT Machinima, but again, you lie to most people and tell them it’s anything by Queen. You have a nervous habit of giggling when under pressure, and you sing Moana when you’re scared.” 

 

Lance turned to face Shiro, who was still rooted by the door, though now facing Lance. Tears were freely running down the cuban boy’s face, all his eyes told were heartbreak. “So don’t tell me that I don’t know you Shiro. Not when it’s you who doesn’t know me.” Lance walked calmly past the older boy, his breath still shuddering slightly. 

 

(There was no going back now.)

 

Shiro, well he wasn’t doing to well with what had just happened. How… how could someone he just met a few months ago know so much about him? Was he missing something? Was this some elaborate prank? Or… or was it possible that not all his memories had returned. No, no they’d done scans, tested again and again and…. He was fine. There wasn’t anything missing. He was whole. 

 

So then why did it feel like he’d just been ripped apart, torn to shreds by Lance. Why did he feel like he’d let someone down? 

 

“Shiro, hey buddy, are uh… are you okay?” snapped from his stupor he turned to see Hunk in the doorway, worried. “I uh, I made dinner? It’s paladin night?”

 

Paladin night, Lance’s great idea. Once a week they all had an afternoon off of training and spent a quality dinner together. As a family, because that’s what they were right?

 

“Well, if you made dinner it’s sure to be a hit isn’t it?” forcing a smile, Shiro followed Hunk to the dining room, where everyone else was already gathered. Everyone, expect for Lance…

 

“So, I passed out resident blue boy in the hall and he said he was feelin’ sick, so he’s skipping dinner tonight.” Pidge solved the mystery as they strolled through the doors a moment later. 

 

Dinner passed… normally. Or at least Shiro thought it did. He wasn’t much invested, as he was still lost in all that Lance had said. He mechanically ate each course placed in front of him, stopping to drink or wipe his mouth. If he was being honest, there could have been an attack and he wouldn’t have noticed. 

 

“Earth to Shiro? Space dad you in there?” Pidge was throwing crumbs at him, to get his attention. 

 

Pulled from his thoughts once again, he saw it was now just himself, Keith, Hunk and Pidge left at the table. The Alteans seemed to have left. 

 

“Sorry, did you say something?” Shiro at least had the decency to look ashamed that he’d been zoned out for all of dinner. 

 

“I said, I know that Lance dropped a bomb on you. I just want to know how much damage control we need to do.”

 

“What? What makes you say that hahaa everythin-”

 

“Hunk and I ran into him on his way out of the lounge. He told us that, and I quote, ‘the truth is starting to come out and I just… make sure he’s alright’, so…” 

 

Shiro looked to Hunk, realizing now that the perfect timing now was, what? A good deed done by Lance, who seemed to hate him in the moment?

 

“He uh… well. I think we had a fight? I told him he didn’t know me and…” Shiro spoke softly, knowing that lying, or trying to, wasn’t worth it. 

 

“Oh man. That is…. Damn.” Surprised, Shiro looked over at Keith, who hadn’t said anything yet. 

 

“You, you know what this is about?” He had to admit, if Keith knew something and didn’t tell him… that stung. They were like brothers. He thought there were no secrets. 

 

“Well..” Keith turned to look at Hunk, who looked torn about something. Looking from Pidge back to Keith, he nodded and slumped in his chair, “You have to understand that none of us want to have this conversation. Not really.”

 

“Then why are you? What’s making you?” 

 

“Lance… he won’t talk about it himself. If I know him, and I do, he’s in his room swearing in spanish to himself about how much he fucked up. He had his whole plan and… well he just blew a hole in it.” Pidge was clearly going to be the talker of this, as they were the only one not looking uncomfortable with the situation. 

 

“Then just…. Rip the bandaid off I guess?” Shiro was, honestly, terrified at what was happening, but he knew it must be important. Must be something big… but god he didn’t want to know. Didn’t want anything to change like he knew it was going to. 

 

“Lance is more than just another Garrison cadet to you. Or he was at least. You sponsored him coming from Cuba, supported him when no one else did. You were his first best friend in the states. You and Adam… the three of you were inseparable. Lance and Keith were like brothers… Everything was just different.” 

 

Shiro looked to Keith to confirm this, this insanity. The two had so much bad blood it was almost funny, how could they possibly be like brothers? But, seeing the regret and hurt in Keith’s eyes… that confirmed that maybe Pidge wasn’t pulling his leg…

 

“You… well you three ended up dating. He was so… heart broken when Kerberos failed. He and Adam, they secluded themselves to each other, until Iverson pushed Lance to hard. Then Lance just… stopped for a while. Pushed Adam away, pushed Keith away, became someone else. That’s when Hunk and I showed up. That’s who we met. A few months into our friendship, we found him sobbing in the east courtyard at like… three in the morning? And his story just spilled out. Losing you, losing Keith, losing Adam. Iverson blaming him for Adam slacking duties, for Keith dropping out, for not being as good without you around. Told Lance to shape up or he’d be kicked out entirely.” Hunk stepped in at this point, taking over the retelling of what was shaping up to be nothing but heartbreak for Lance. 

 

“He stepped up into a new person. That's when you crashed. Just… crashed? And Lance, god he was shaking when he saw you again. He and Keith were… tense. But you woke up and maybe everything would be okay and… then you introduced yourself to him and I just… we saw his last straw shatter Shiro. You didn’t remember him. Not even as the student you sponsored. So while you were getting food… he made us promise Shiro. Made us promise not to mention it. Not to let you know.” 

 

Keith jumped in, his voice steady though hurt laced every word together, “He couldn't bare to lose you a second time like that. Said he was just part of your past. Then we ended up here and I told him, begged him to tell you, to at least tell you that you’d known him. That not telling you was lying and… Shiro, he has nothing left to give. He gave up his family, gave up Adam. When we sent videos back… he looked like he was going to throw up when you said yours was for Adam. Like he was breaking. Because he couldn’t send one, he couldn’t risk it. Couldn’t apologize for not fixing them at least, before getting gobbled up into space.” 

 

Shiro sat, digesting all this. Logically, he knew he should be mad that it was kept from him but… god did it make sense. He… he couldn't say he’d have done things differently. Silence filled the room around him, as the others gave him time to just… sit with all the information. 

 

“Man… I really fucked up huh.” Shiro smiled, and gave a little laugh. “I mean, holy shit, I sure know how to start a freak out.” 

 

“Bud, its not like.. Well like you knew?” Hunk tried, shyly. 

 

“Well sure, but… damn. I did some serious damage. I uh… I gotta go find Lance?” Shiro stood and, with one last look to the team mates around him, started to leave the room. “But like, I’m not mad at you okay? I mean, I’m kinda salty? But, I understand why you didn’t tell me.” As he walked out the door, he heard three sighs of sheer and utter relief.

 

Him and Adam… and Lance? He could just laugh with sheer joy, if it weren’t all in the middle of going down the drain. How the hell did he forget that there was a third? That they were three not two? How did someone forget loving a ball of sunshine like Lance? He’d have to talk with Coran about doing more scans of his brain, looking for more evidence of tampering. There had to be some clue as to why he couldn’t remember… and to think! He was worried about breaking Adam’s heart… all while doing something that would break Adam’s heart? He was a walking disaster, a gay mess. 

 

Making his way (downtown, walking fast and he’s homebound) toward Lance’s room, he tried to think of something he could say, something that could maybe fix something that he wasn’t entirely sure could be fixed. 

 

Poised to knock on the door, Shiro had the fleeting thought that maybe, Lance didn’t want to see him. But before that thought could push into light, his knuckles rapped on the metal in quick succession, alearting the younger boy to his presence.  

 

The door slid open to reveal a Lance, whose hair was messed up and face was red. “What.” 

 

“I think I fucked up.” 

 

Lance looked up, squinting at the older man, the leader of this rag tag family in space. And he was completely and utterly lost in what that could possibly mean. 

 

“Okay, so don’t be mad but they kinda told me the whole story and…. I know I can’t fix this, or us or whatever. Because Lance, I just don’t remember. And that kinda kills me because it sounds like you were the light of my life and more than anything I want to remember. But, I can try right? I can try and remember you and…. Lance don’t beat yourself up.” The words all just kinda spilled out of his mouth before he could stop them and… 

 

“What? Aren’t you mad at me? You hate being lied to and secrets and… Shiro, I lied?” Lance sounded like he’d been having this argument with himself for hours, and he was losing it. 

 

“I hate lies about being okay and injuries and tests. I hate secrets that are meant to hurt someone. Lance, you were protecting yourself. You went through hell. I know logically I should be pissed beyond belief but… honestly? I’m kinda impressed we formed Voltron with such a big secret being kept. Like… that shows just how unmalicious it was ya know? The bond of Voltron didn’t take it as mistrust but as full and total trust in the others not ratting you out?” Shiro knew he was rambling again, but he could stop he just…  had to try and make this at least sort of right. 

 

“You. Are the single biggest nerd in the world. I mean, really ‘Kash- Shiro.” 

 

“You can call me ‘Kashi. I don’t mind it, really Lance.”

 

And that, exact moment, was when the damn burst. Tear streamed down Lance’s face, and he sobbed. Shiro stared for a moment, before reaching out and pulling him into a hug. Tight and secure against his chest. 

 

“Shhhh, I promise you Lance, even if it never fixes anything, I am going to do my damndest to remember every single moment of you in my life. You deserve that.” 

 

Sniffling, and trying to pull himself together, Lance looked up at Shiro.    
  


“I’m sorry I snapped at you. I don’t blame you for forgetting I… I didn’t say the nicest things to you before you left. I… I sided with Adam on that particular argument. I was so scared to lose you and… I lost you twice.”

 

Shiro kissed his forehead, and gently guided Lance back into his room. 

 

“Maybe, we could just… talk. About what I remember and you can fill me in on what I don’t? Then, Corran and I can look more into what could have caused this?”

 

Lance smiled up at the soft eyes and gentle tone, “Yea, I think I’d really like that.”

 

The two were found the next morning in a mess of blankets, Lance held close to Shiro, as the universe slowly started to right itself.

 

**Author's Note:**

> well if you've read more from me, you know I suck at updating and adding to stories, so uhhhhh  
> maybe this'll be the one  
> who knows  
> also y r the writers lazy and only gave Adam a last initial??? I had to GOOGLE a last name to give him ugh the dedication I have


End file.
